The parent isn't sure that the lies were an attempt to mislead her parents or misbehave. It might be that the girl just wanted to contribute to the conversation even if she had to make up facts or details about the thing she's talking about.
The parent wrote that they've tried having a conversation with their daughter about her lying, but now they are wondering if there is something else going on. Of course! And another person advised that the girl channel that energy into a creative project. Listen to how other adults talk about your child, that will give you a much better idea of what they are really like.
When she's 40, she'll be what's called a pathological liar," someone argued. She's like 99 percent likely to grow out of it -- she's SIX. So I want you to think about giving me an honest answer. Brady says kids with ADHD , who are prone to giving impulsive answers that come out as lies, need some extra time to think things through before speaking. Impulsivity can be a problem both at home and in school, when a teacher asks if a child has finished an assignment and the child answers yes without even looking at his paper.
Putting a child on the spot can set him up to lie. If parents know the true story, Dr. Brady recommends, they should go right to the issue and discuss it. The wound it creates is bigger than dealing with what he lied about in the first place.
Get this as a PDF. Enter email to download and get news and resources in your inbox. Share this on social. Family Resource Center Behavior Problems. Beth Arky. What You'll Learn What are some reasons kids lie? What can parents do about lying? How can parents help their kids avoid lying to begin with? Quick Read. Full Article. Why kids lie. To test out a new behavior. To enhance self-esteem and gain approval. To get the focus off themselves.
Speaking before they think. And then there are white lies. Despite its prevalence, lying among children is rarely cause for concern. In some instances, chronic lying can become a concern if they occur alongside a cluster of other behaviours that are maladaptive. For example, deceitfulness through lying is often present in conduct and oppositional defiant disorders ODD. Young people with conduct disorders or ODD cause considerable disruptions in the home or at school through persistent aggression and harm to others or property.
But to meet diagnoses, lying would have to occur with a cluster of other symptoms such as refusal to comply with authority figures, persistent violations of rules, and failure to take responsibility for their actions. Read more: Truth is, everyone lies all the time. Another cause for parental concern is if lying serves to mask other mental health problems due to fear or shame. For example, a child or adolescent suffering from severe anxiety may lie chronically to avoid confronting situations that make them afraid for example, school, parties, germs.
They may also lie to avoid the stigma of mental health disorders. In these instances, consulting your doctor or a mental health professional such as a psychologist or psychiatrist will help clarify whether lying is indicative of a mental health concern. First, avoid excessive or over-the-top punishments. Now that she's getting older, you can also expect more sophisticated and deceitful lies than the innocent truth-twisters she's told before. Her lies aren't necessarily due to naughtiness, though.
At this age, there are many developmental and emotional reasons for lying, such as a need to feel important or a desire to spare someone's feelings. The good news: Your grade-schooler knows the difference between right and wrong, or she wouldn't bother to lie. First, you need to know what you're dealing with. Before you can teach your child why lying won't cut it, you have to figure out why she chose to stretch the truth. Here, the most common types of lies, why your grade-schooler might be telling them, and how to deal with them: The tall tale.
Despite her seeming maturity, your grade-schooler probably still fabricates elaborate stories from time to time. When she tells you that she did a triple somersault off the pommel horse in gymnastics class, it may be because she isn't yet able to fully discern the difference between reality and fantasy, or she could be trying to get your attention.
If she tends to exaggerate, sometimes embellishing stories so much that they're almost completely untrue, she may lack confidence and feel the need to pump herself up.
Maybe she feels pressure to be good at something or thinks she has to prove herself to be accepted by a particular clique. Whatever's behind her tall tales, it's important not to ridicule your boasting child, or her self-esteem will sink even more. Show her that you appreciate her just as she is, and praise her legitimate accomplishments. As for the actual lie, deflect the conversation away from it if you can, or calmly tell your grade-schooler that you know what she said isn't true and that you love her even if she didn't do a triple somersault.
If she lies to someone else in front of you, don't show her up in public. Instead, wait until you're alone with her, then gently explain that you know she's telling tales and that doing so can have unpleasant consequences. Chances are, by the time your child reaches her ninth birthday — when the lines between reality and fantasy no longer blur for most kids — these tall tales will become a thing of the past.
The cover-up. When your grade-schooler insists that she wasn't the one to leave the backyard gate open, which led to your dog running away, she knows she did something wrong and is trying to cover her tracks. Her goal is to avoid unpleasantness or punishment. Kids learn this tactic at an early age and perfect it as they mature. Lies told to escape discipline can put you in a difficult position.
If you discipline your child when she admits doing something wrong, she may decide she's better off lying.
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