After a while, as the emotions settled, both of them felt sorry and conveyed their apologies to each other. This is the difference we need to figure out. He realized what he was thinking as care was actually control which lead to the conflict.
When we really care for someone, instead of getting angry with that person we would look for different ways to help them. So continue caring for people you love but without controlling them because most often people are not wrong they are just different. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
Post comment. Skip to content. Search: Search. Vikas Deshmukh Our Team Dr. How to differentiate between Caring and Controlling? As a result, they now know what money you spend and how you are spending your time.
Care, protection, concern and thoughtfulness and are all signs of love. But the shadow emerges when that care is driven by control. Then the relationship becomes a controlling one marked by transgressed boundaries, insecurity, anger and dependency. Are you concerned that you are in a controlling relationship? If you want to find if your relationship is a caring one get in touch and book your first counselling appointment.
Enjoyed this post? Then use the icons below to tweet it, share it on Facebook and send it to specific friends via email. Soul Centred couples counsellor Sandra Harewood specialises in working with couples and single women with childhood wounding that impacts their adult relationships. Sandra provides a soulful space for her clients to explore and discover creative solutions to their difficulties and create a great relationship.
Sandra Harewood, an experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor, couples therapist and Jungian Coach providing clients with the tools to transform important relationships and live happier, fulfilled lives. This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. We may request cookies to be set on your device. We use cookies to let us know when you visit our websites, how you interact with us, to enrich your user experience, and to customize your relationship with our website.
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Your Name. Your Email Address. Send Email. London Counselling Practice Sandra Harewood, an experienced psychotherapeutic counsellor, couples therapist and Jungian Coach providing clients with the tools to transform important relationships and live happier, fulfilled lives. I Agree Learn more. All actions focused on controlling the punctuality of the employee and not necessarily on the job they are performing. A caring approach will involve the Manager asking questions to create awareness and seek to understand why there is tardiness in arrival to work.
The objective is to demonstrate caring for the employee and their productivity which will support their overall success in building a career. Dave Richards, the Founder, President, and Head Coach at Elite Performance Associates, report that the best leaders do not dictate or control others, rather they inspire and motivate them to act. He does suggest that leaders can demonstrate caring by controlling their personal reactions, attitudes, and biases.
Controlling reactions should include both verbal responses as well as body language. A sigh of frustration or scowl of disparagement can have the same negative effect as a poor choice of words. Emphasizing positive emotions and minimizing feelings of negativity will yield a better result.
Personal bias is another area for control. It is natural to have a better connection with those persons who do not complain, express disagreements professionally and keep their personal life drama away from work.
What about ourselves? Are we engaging in activities that reflect a true sense of self-caring or are we allowing our daily lives to be controlled by the environment and the persons with whom we interact? It is easy to relinquish control over our emotions to the person who drives poorly in front of us or experiencing disappointment when rain falls on the weekend you planned to go to the beach.
A caring approach for ourselves will avoid allowing these and similar events to create internal stress and anxiety. Our emotions remain in balance and our overall well-being stays intact. When engaging with our clients, active listening and being present are key elements to provide effective coaching. Caring for our clients, allow us to ask the right powerful questions, evoke new learnings, and enable them to achieve their goals. Leading questions will have the effect of controlling the answer and limit their thinking.
Listen to your clients as they share experiences and thoughts. Observe if their actions are controlling and how they may be getting in the way of moving forward.
Exploring their feelings in the situation may help them reconnect with their true sense of caring and consider alternative ways for communicating or behaving which can result in positive outcomes. As coaches, we encounter clients who experience challenges in relationships with others while being a parent, spouse, friend, or leader.
The impact of their communication and behavior, when expressed in a controlling manner, may have negative consequences in their relationships. Helping them to arrive at that awareness may allow them to see a path forward in achieving their goals. Recently, I decided to reduce the sugar intake in my diet. One evening, I was justifying to my son, the decision to eat cake because I did not have anything sweet for the entire day.
A simple and effective way of reminding me of the poor choice while showing that he cared. Click HERE. Controlling — A Shift in Perspective Some time ago, my daughter was getting ready to go out and we were chatting about what she was planning to do, where she was going, and with whom. Caring vs. Controlling In all aspects of life, we can show caring for many things — people, animals, the environment, as well as exhibit behaviors that promote our need to control an outcome or response.
Controlling Parenting Traditionally, an authoritarian style of parenting appeared to be more accepted in society.
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